Photo by Mallory

Photo by Mallory

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Monday, May 18, 2015

Can Male/Female Friendships Exist?

"Fate chooses your relations, you choose your friends." --Jacques Delille, French poet

Can male/female friendships exist? Answering quickly you may say, “Of course.” Looking more closely and putting  yourself in that situation, would your answer be the same?

Ladies, would you feel comfortable if your boyfriend/husband had a female for his best friend? And, men would you approve of your girlfriend/wife having a male as her best friend?

Some folks say that such is an impossible situation. They feel that a relationship between male and female must be, ultimately and only, romantic.

Let’s look at an example. Perhaps a little boy and a little girl lived next door and became friends at an early age. That friendship is never broken but becomes stronger as these two mature. What happens when each of them marries? Are they expected to forsake their lifelong, close friendship with the one who lived next door?
I don’t know whether male or female would be more adamant about the other’s friendship. I can image this would be a prickly concern to be worked out in a marriage or relationship. Each of them would love their dear friend and probably be hurt if their partner demanded the friendship be severed.

Also, what would loving a good friend imply? The Bible uses the word love many, many times. The one new commandment Jesus gave in the New Testament was “love thy neighbor.” I don’t think He was referring to a romantic love for He wants us to love one another.

What is the difference when a male or female says “I love you” or “I’m in love with you”? Does one denote friendship and the other mean romantic?

Do you have a best friend that is of the opposite sex? Does it work if you’re married or in a relationship? Also how do you define “I love you” and “I’m in love with you?

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